the diary of a mad white girl

everyone should listen to sufjan stevens

2006-01-02T15:02:08Z

Completely not an exaggeratio, either. I found Come on Feel the Illinoise! this morning and listened for the first time in, like, two months and realized I've been having Sufjan Stevens withdrawals!

Everyone should listen to this. It's the most amazing thing I've listened to...ever, even better than Wolf Parade or the new New Pornographers album. It's that good.

a new year

2005-12-31T05:07:09Z

I am back in action, alive and kicking, and completely unafraid of the internet again, after the November 2005 Myspace scandal in which I was removed from the Alpha group in an unfortunate display of my lovely school's lack of restraint in keeping its nose out of my business. Ah, nevermind, it's a new year tomorrow, after all, and I, my darling readers, am going to be such a better person this year.

First, my college applications are done. It's a big relief off my shoulders, and now I know it's out of my hands, I've done all that I can do, and I don't have to think about it till I get the rejection letters in March.

Secondly, there's the issue of my organization. It's all been handled, in a huge sweep of boredom during my parentally-imposed quarantine after my wisdom teeth removal last week. My room is immaculate, my entire life seems to have been tidied up, organized, and changed in the matter of a few weeks.

There's also my financial status, which is, as of now, nonexistent. However, I have sought employment at Publix Supermarkets, Inc. and am hoping to be hired as a cashier. If I do not get hired by Publix, this will only be failure number six hundred and forty-three in what is sure to be an oncoming avalanche of failures that all go by the names of various universities in this big country. I also went shopping today, in what was my beginning-of-spring fashion extravaganza. I acquired several fabulous items, including new Lilly clothes, new Marc Jacobs clothes, and the most gorgeous pair of green Jimmy Choo heels that you have ever seen. Nevermind that I got two outfits, a pair of shoes, and a couple of shirts for about 1200 dollars, but I've come up with the new philosophy that hey, it's just money. I mean, what else am I going to do with it? And if I get this job at Pulbix, assuming it probably pays minimum wage and I'll make about six dollars an hour and maybe eighty bucks a week, I can start helping out with my extreme living expenses (i.e., clothing, shoes, car repairs).

Which brings me to my next point. My vehicle. Big Red, that beautiful-yet-badly-mistreated hunk of red Land Rover crapola, is currently in the shop. Which means I am currently driving a man vehicle. And not just any man vehicle, it's one of my father's, and it's a Nissan xTerra (I think that's how it's spelled) with a deer-hunting sticker on the back window. Let's make it clear that I love deer, I consider Bambi a classic, and wish I could keep a deer as a pet. Under no circumstances do I condone deer hunting. But the car does drive very nicely, and I do like having a car that has all of its blinkers and mirrors and seatbelts.

Plus, I'm totally losing weight right now. I mean, I'm like, almost my normal size again! I'm getting so close I can practically taste the victory of those beautiful new spring lines from Marc and Lilly.

And here's where I'll go off-topic and say to all you Abercrombie/Hollister clones that think you're hipsters: PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, DITCH THE LEGGINGS/DENIM MINISKIRT COMBINATION. NOT ONLY DOES IT MAKE YOU LOOK SHORT AND THICK, IT MAKES YOU LOOK HOMELESS. LEGGINGS ARE SO FAR FROM BEING IN, THAT ONLY MAKES YOU THINK IT'S TRENDIER. IT LOOKS STUPID, LIKE YOU'RE FOUR YEARS OLD AND FINALLY ALLOWED TO DRESS YOURSELF. PLUS, DON'T YOU FEEL WEIRD SEEING 82374329847 GIRLS WALKING AROUND WEARING THE EXACT SAME THING? GROW A PERSONALITY, BITCHES!

I really hope that Bag Lady clothes go out and never come back. I really do. I mean, okay, so you're the Olsen twins. You can afford Balenciaga, and I can't. I'm sure your outfits cost thousands and thousands of dollars that I will never have, but looking like a bum is, simply put, really ugly. The homeless of America don't appreciate you mocking their culutre that way, and I don't appreciate you ruining American culture that way. If you're that rich, buy some clothes that look nice.

My hair! Here's the big one. I'm tired of being a redhead already. It's too bad I have to go back to school with my hair the way it was when I left, since I'm not getting it done till Thursday afternoon, but I have it very well planned, and it's going to be spectacular. Well... so much for surprises, and not that anyone actually gives a damn, but if you've seen Sienna Miller on the cover of January's Vogue...

But I have just been so gosh-darn sick the past week. I'm not sure what it is. I eat something every time I take the painkillers for my terrifyingly-swollen jaw, I'm healthier than ever, practically, but I have been feeling sick and crappy lately, which completely contrasts with my mental mood.

I want to be a positive person this year. I'm tired of being snippy and sarcastic and spiteful and generally shallow and self-absorbed. I just realized that I only have a little less than five months left of the very unique, stupid, and immature hell that is high school, and that I'm essentially biding my time until I move on to bigger and better things, so I've taken a rather complacent attitude toward it all. Let people assume away, gossip away, and say what they like about me, personally, but I really just want to be happy and not give a damn about anyone or anything throughout the next semester.

It sounds like it's going to be a very good year.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-10-16T22:58:00

2005-10-17T03:59:06Z

And the White Sox win the pennant. If that's not a sign that very strange things are going on in the world, I don't know what is.

I mean, starting with last fall and reaching on all the way into this fall, it's been a full year of strangeness. First we get hit by two hurricanes in a row, then the Red Sox win the World Series, and now this.

I'm kind of happy for them, in a way.

I was in Chicago this weekend. The whole city's in a complete uproar over this White Sox business. Completely psychotic. It's beautiful in a really strange way.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-09-23T23:13:00

2005-09-24T03:12:06Z

So today.

Um, it was a lot of fun. Sylvia and Joe and I went to the Gardens Mall, shopped around, ate at PF Chang's, then went to CityPlace and were only there for ten minutes or so when Sylv's parents called, spazzing out, and we had to come home, but that was ok because we had a lot of fun anyway.

And at school they announced this thing I won. So people started coming up to me and saying stuff like, "Oh, Hillary, I had no idea you were smart!?"

Come on now, honestly.

Do I look retarded or something? I mean, people must think I'm some kind of idiot, the way they were talking. They might as well have said 'Damn, kid, we didn't even know you could spell PSAT!'

But it was nice of them to comment anyway.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-09-18T22:55:00

2005-09-19T02:55:54Z

Freshman retreat tomorrow, so no classes for me. :B

I bought the most fabulous boots today. After spending hours poring over fashion magazines for my fall look, I've decided on going with the prettied-up cowboy-styl boots and the full skirts (again on the skirts, first time I've bought boots like that). Plus, I got some truly hot clothes today and earlier this week from Gap and American Eagle for my Chicago fall-expedition next month.

I don't think I have that much more to say. I haven't had a lot to say in here lately.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-09-09T23:16:00

2005-09-10T03:26:52Z

For such a short week, it sure has been friggen long.

My head hurts from here to next Thursday.

Sylv and I went big pimpin tonight. Sort of. We saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose at CityPlace. We actually made it there in about 35 minutes (yes, we made it from Midway Road with construction! to Okeechobee Boulevard in almost half an hour because we thought we were gonna miss the movie... please don't ask how fast I was driving). The movie was ok but pretty scary. Then we bummed around for a while and then we ate at Legal Sea Foods (our big pimpin adventure du jour). Then I drove her all the way back to Lakewood Park. Then I drove back to White City and here I am at home because I'm so exhausted you wouldn't even understand. It's pathetic how much I have to do this weekend, since I've got to make two new club expo boards and tidy up another. This sucks.

But remember, I'm the fucking president, bitches! *gigglesnort*

This weekend must be spent on SO much sleep because I SO need it. So badly.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-08-31T22:51:00

2005-09-01T02:58:44Z

What an absolutely boring week it's been so far. Luckily, there will be relief come Friday when it's a half day and Sylv and I shall be free to roam the county in search of props for the Alpha thing. Or at least that's what she wants to do. Then there's the football game, which will be fun. Saturday, I'm babysitting for some people Mrs. Easom told me about and said that they needed a sitter for Saturday night from six to nine, so I guess I'm up for it.

Anyway, I have some pretty high expectations for the fall of my senior year, and I might as well chronicle them now. This way, when baseball season is over and college applications are finished, I can look back and either realize my serious surplus of disappointments (which hopefully WON'T be the case) or celebrate my serious wealth of awesomeness (which hopefully WILL be the case).

So let's see:
10. That I lose some weight. I want to graduate and go to college looking good.
9. That I will be more selfless, less discriminatory, more forgiving, and an all-around better person.
8. That I will save some money.
7. That I will not disappoint my parents.
6. That my friends and I spend some serious good times together.
5. That I will be kinder and help my brother and sister more.
4. That I will finish everything I have set goals for finishing (i.e., college applications).
3. That the Yankees or Red Sox will NOT win the World Series.
2. That the CUBS win the World Series in a seven-game extravaganza. With whom, I don't care. As long as the Cubs win.
1. That I get into the college that I'm stupidly applying early action for.

With all that in mind, let's go forward into a new season with hopes about self-actualization, personal fulfillment, and baseball.

oh my gawwwdddd

2005-08-29T02:57:10Z

Well today was interesting. (If interesting can mean one of the most boring days of your existence.)

So I went to church, came home, went to the beach with Zack and Amanda, but it rained and we had to come home, and then I went to Publix and watched TV for a really long time. Then I ate dinner, helped Kyle with his essay, and watched more TV. VMAs and such. Then Entourage was on and it was super good like, totally making up for the not-so-good-ness of the past few. I mean, Ari got fired?!?!?! Who the hell saw that one coming!? And next week is the season finale and I hope Mandy Moore and Vince get back together.

Okay moving on.

So now I have to do all the homework I've put off all weekend.

I hate school.

The end.

LET'S HUG IT OUT BITCHES! :D

lady_isatramp @ 2005-08-27T23:01:00

2005-08-28T03:06:58Z

So this weekend so far...

Friday we had our first hurricane day of the year. It was a nice day off. Sylv and I hung out and saw Wedding Crashers because she hadn't seen it and I didn't mind seeing it again. Saw Mr. Monroe and Sarah Anderson and was on the verge of gouging my eyes out with a spoon, plskthnx. Talked to random people with Sylv. Got sick to my stomach because I did something stupid I'd rather not mention and had to come home early. That was ok though. All in all, a good day.

Today I got up around 11, went to lunch at Dale's with my mom, Amanda, and Amanda's friend, then I came home, watched TV, and watched The Life Aquatic with Zack. Then we went to the Gardens Mall and I picked up some Lacoste jeans (the cute ones with the alligator stitched on the back pockets), some very versatile, should-be-a-staple Lacoste t-shirts, and some definite-wardrobe-staple (everyone should have some) James Perse shirts. I mean, my God, have you ever tried a James Perse shirt on? It's the softest cotton known to mankind. It's like...heavenly. It's a luxury everyone should indulge themselves in. Beautiful shirts. Spent most of the remainder of my birthday money on all of that, came home, watched A Lot Like Love with my mom cause she'd never seen it, and here I am.

Nothing particularly eventful, but a good weekend all around. Hopefully tomorrow more stuff will happen.

Call me, bitches!

it's so cold in alaska

2005-08-24T01:44:25Z

I like stuff.
And that's not necessarily things. I like saying things, telling people what I'm thinking or doing. I love talking.
I like music. I like sitting on my bed and listening to "Stephanie Says" while watching the lights on the ceiling fan and wishing I had the energy to do homework.
I like the feeling of when my parents tell me to do something, because they're actually parenting. It's an interesting thing, really. Of course, I inevitably argue their decision, but the mere idea of parenting, to me, positively blows my mind.
There's so much good music out there! It's like, you want to hear it all, and I want to hear it all before anyone else, and I want to keep it to myself, but at the same time, I want everyone to hear it and appreciate it the way I do. I want everyone to feel the absolute spectacularity and smallness of just...being. If you really think about it and think of yourself with one of those camera shots that zooms out from you in your little computer chair, out of your house, your neighborhood, your town, and so on and so forth till there's this huge picture of absolutely everything. And to think that you're so small and insignificant. It kind of tends to put you in your place.
I want to make a book, a movie, or something that just...speaks to people, and has some great ultimate purpose and touching moral and all that jazz.
Moral dilemmas: collection plates at church and birthday money, townhouses in Chicago.
Did you know that I have no idea what I'm talking about?

one more day!

2005-08-23T20:38:51Z

One more day till my birthday, kids!
And then I shall be seventeen (it's about time, y'know).
Tonight we're going to Beni Hana's (all five of us).
Started talking with Mrs. McWhorter again today. She's really cool.
Yearbook ladders.
Amnesty International.
Starfish necklace from Tiffany's...finally got it yesterday from my grandparents! Huzzah!
Birthday cash. I am definitely in the green and kicking so much serious ass.
Had a Dixie Creme donut from Katie Waters for breakfast and felt guilty for the rest of the day. It's a wonder I'm not Catholic with all the guilt I deal with on a day to day basis.
There are more presents for me somewhere, I'm just not allowed to see them yet.
Definitely the best birthday week ever.
Siringo's Brit Lit test today really sucked.
And I missed a quiz in AP English.
Math is possibly the worst method of torture ever devised by mankind.
Ohmygod I've gained weight.
THE NEW NEW PORNOGRAPHERS ALBUM!

my birthday: the complete recap

2005-08-22T01:12:33Z

So here's what I really have to say about my birthday party.

People came over between 12 and 1 or something, we ate pizza, we hung out by the pool and jumped off the waterfall, and came inside to eat cake and open presents. Then we went back outside and everyone left. Then Sylvia and I tidied up a bit, I realized I'd gotten sunburned for the first time in like three years (my skin never burns), and Melissa came over. We dropped off Merritt's jewelry at OOBS, and I said hi to some people. Then we got on I-95 and drove to CityPlace. On the way to CityPlace these guys in a purple truck almost hit the Rover, and I about had a cow. So I started screaming obscenities and they started following us. It was scary. Then they'd get kind of behind us and speed up again so they could glare at us. Melissa and I were like OHMYGODWE'REGOINGTOBESHOTANDIT'SNOTEVENFUNNY! But we made it there alive, spent twenty minutes trying to find a parking spot in the Macy's garage, and went to the Cheesecake Factory, where we discussed "apples," made everyone feel self-conscious about something (including the way I laugh), and Alex shared what he'd like to do with cashews. We spent more money than we had, walked around and sat on massage chairs in Brookstone, and watched Sylvia stand in the middle of the street in front of oncoming traffic. Then we got in the car and drove home, and Wissa and Sylv and I discussed our potential futures and spent some quality bonding time blasting "Beverly Hills" and talking about how ridiculously smart her brother is. Then we got to my house, hung out for a little while and made fun of some pictures, and they went home. Then I was exhausted and went to bed and realized that I do, indeed, have the best friends in the world.

Today I went to church, came home, called Merritt up, and we went to the movies (where I was allowed to take my mom's car! it was scaryfun). We saw Red Eye and I about peed myself it was so scary. Really good movie. Like, everyone should see it. Cillian Murphy was cute but it was too bad he was so scary and mean. Rachel McAdams is, like, my hero. She's wicked cool. Um, and then I went home and my mommy and Amanda and I went to Publix, then got Chris's Hurricane takeout. (Category 2 with the raspberry sauce kicks so much ass it's not even funny.) Then we came home, I did my AP project, read some quality magazines like Chicago Social, People, and Entertainment Weekly (lmao) and came upstairs to tell you guys all about it.

All in all, on a scale of 1-10, this weekend was definitely an eleven.

Let's
hug it
out
bitch!

birthday party, bitches!

2005-08-21T03:07:22Z

So today was the party. Everyone came, ate pizza and cake and hung out in the pool. I opened presents and finally got my Chanel jewelry (my bling). Then Sylv, Wissa, Em, Jessica, Alex, and Alex and I went to City Place and ate at the Cheesecake Factory and managed to spend like, two hundred dollars on dinner (and I got chocolate sauce on my boob in my favorite shirt). Oh no my computer's dying but I'm looking at these awesome new rings on the Van Cleef site and oh my garsh I had the BEST BIRTHDAY THANK YOU EVERYBODY I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH.

HECK YES

2005-08-14T02:20:14Z

This month's credit card purchases:

Visa: $280
Discover: $350

Take that, nigga! I am kicking sooooooo much ass not spending money that it's flipping sweet!

This is like, newsworthy or something.

In case you were wondering, or anything.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-08-13T21:04:00

2005-08-14T02:11:52Z

So today we went birthday shopping for Hilllary at Millennia. I walked away with new silver hoops from Tiffany's, a new Lacoste sweater, and the matching diamond Chanel earrings and necklace (both of which I'm not allowed to have till my actual birthday on the 24th). It was a fun time. Saw my dad and got lectured on spending habits. (Thinking of last Sunday's episode of Entourage and Ari saying, "I'll beat that old fuck and throw him into the pool!" in front of his kids and then adding "Only Daddy's allowed to talk that way," very memorable, reminding me of my own father, which made it hilarious to me, then his dropping multiple f-bombs in front of his daughter at her bat mitzvah. So embarrassing yet so... typical of my own dad. I bring this up because I fear his attendance at my birthday party next Saturday. Dear God, this could be a problem.)

Not thinking of that now.

I love my new stuff. And my Chanel jewelry is REAL, unlike everyone else's at school. Makes me feel better, in a God-I'm-such-a-bad-person kind of way.

The Tiffany earrings are very classic, and therefore never have the danger of going out of style, unlike the Prada shoes I almost bought instead. They were pretty cute shoes, though. But I think they'll be out in about four months, says my fashion radar, so I steered clear and went to Tiffany's, again, because nothing very bad could happen to you at Tiffany's. And Chanel never goes out, simply because a) they're diamond-studded Chanel logo earrings with matching silver necklace with diamond-studded Chanel logo, and b) because it's Chanel.

I need to get a life.

it's so nice to be selfish once in a while.

2005-08-12T01:30:02Z

Wow, kids. This is the first time since school started on Tuesday that I've been able to get in my pajamas and be out of my uniform before 11:30. My God, it's amazing! I took a long bubble bath and pondered the ramifications of my craptastic reading record due tomorrow for AP English (about one page per book). I mean...well, nevermind. The goal for tonight is to be calm. Spend time on myself. Then, before bed, finish the last two questions on Monroe's study guide. I think I might be getting things under control for the time being, that is, until Mac's class gets entirely out of hand, as usual, and I have to spend hours in frustration because I am a MATH TARD.

"You know those days when you get the mean reds?"

"You mean, like, the blues?"

"No. The blues are when you're sad because you're getting fat...the mean reds are terrible. You feel sad, and scared... the thing I've found that works is to get in a cab and go down to Tiffany's."

"The jewelry store?"

"...If I ever found a real life place like Tiffany's, why, I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name."

This is one of those days when I get the mean reds. And I tried looking at the Tiffany's catalogue we just got in, but it's not the same effect. It's a nice, minimally effective substitute though. And the movie. The movie is nice to relax with.

School is hellish this year. Positively monstrous. I don't know how I'm going to survive till Thanksgiving at the pace I'm going at now, and that's not even with yearbook, which'll be thrown into the mix in another couple weeks or so. Dear God, when will the madness stop?

rymo is awesome!

2005-08-08T03:57:44Z

Let's all thank Rymo for the fantastic job he did with my beautiful icon. My icon kicks so much ass it's amazing. Rymo is the shit. Huzzah for Rymo! MY ICON KICKS ALL OTHER ICONS' ASSES.

saucy, sweet talking, and in league with the devil

2005-08-08T01:07:06Z

Ehhhhh.

I'm not really sure whether I'm supposed to be really excited or really scared about my senior year. I mean, my God, we're going to be making decisions that will affect the entire remainder of our LIVES! Are we really capable of making such important decisions without the tiniest hint of regret, uncertainty, or sadness? Frankly, I don't think I am. I'm so bloody indecisive, and I can't believe that it's already time for all of this.

(One thing I have to say, though, is that I'm so happy to have my friends. All of you guys, and you know who you are. I remember being soooo scared to go to John Carroll and now I have the best friends in the ennnntiiiiiire world. Oh, God, there I go getting sappy again. But I felt like my friends should know they are sincerely loved.)

Moving on. Like I was saying, it's really scary to think that I have to decide NOW (and by now I mean this school year), essentially what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life. For goodness' sake, I still haven't let go of every girl's third-grade dream of being a movie star. This is bad. I mean, I don't take any of this as seriously as I should, and frankly, I'd be crushed if I didn't get in to any of the schools I'm applying to. Not that that makes me take it anymore seriously than I do.

I think I'd like to open a restaurant. I'd call it The Pink Alligator. I would open it in Chicago. Everyone would love it. It would be Lilly Pulitzer and Florida themed, and I would be so happy.

The only issue is learning how to cook.

That could pose a problem.

And oh! oh my GOD I've just realized how much I love it here and how beautiful everything is in this small town that we call FoPo. I mean, all the people and their stories and my family that penetrates every school, church, and office in St. Lucie County, and the psychotic family friends, and my grandfather's groves and the trees in his backyard and my house. I love my house. I can't believe I'm even saying this, because I hate it so. But at the same time, it's so beautiful and complicated and intricate and interesting in its own way. My fifty thousand or so cousins and their backstories and the sanity-deficient family parties and God, it's so beautiful, when you really think about it. It could have something to do with the fact that I was raised by my grandparents until I was eight, but they've created an emotional attachment in me to the nostalgic and the Floridian.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-08-06T16:19:00

2005-08-06T21:18:36Z

So, my birthday's in two-ish weeks, on the 24th. Thanks to my brattiness all summer, my parents are a wee bit cash-strapped and that's not sounding good for my present-request list (pink Chanel quilted-square bag with chain strap, starfish necklace from Tiffany's, XM radio for the Rover, tickets to the Coldplay/Rilo Kiley concert in September which you'd actually have to get by paying scalpers' prices, Kate Spade "Party" flats, and some other stuff I can't bring to mind). Also, I'm not even sure if I want to celebrate my birthday with friends. That's not to say I don't want presents, or I want people to forget my seventeenth birthday, but I'm just saying I don't know if I want to have a party. People are asking about pool parties and such, but I'm a bit self-conscious about getting in a swimsuit in front of lots of people.

Anyway. School hasn't even started yet and I'm already freaking out, which totally isn't good for my complexion and I'm EXTREMELY frustrated. My Marc Jacobs flats look nice with my uniform though, which I tried on this afternoon.

Also, Donia called me this morning and said they had an extra ticket for the Warped Tour and would I like to come. I WAS SO UPSET THAT I COULDNT GO BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO THIS STUPID WEDDING FOR MY COUSIN IN LIKE...THIRTY MINUTES AND I'M NOT EVEN DRESSED YET. I HATE WEDDINGS. END OF STORY.

AND I'M NOT HUGGING ANYTHING OUT.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-08-02T20:05:00

2005-08-03T01:32:22Z

Today I ventured down to Palm Beach to buy my remaining one pair of necessary shoes for school. After venturing into Steve Madden and finding nothing, as well as at Saks, where I couldn't afford the Chanel shoes I wanted. Then, I went to Bloomingdale's and saw the most perfect thing I'd seen in, like, a week. They were white pointed-toe Marc Jacobs flats with a pattern of black stamped hearts all over them. They were marked down from $295 to $122. I almost had a coronary. It was beautiful. Those shoes...I mean, oh my God. And then I got this pair of pink metallic ballet flats by Irregular Choice that were almost as perfect as the Marc Jacobs ones. But not quite.

Anyway. Then I went to Waldenbooks, where I encountered a truly awful person. I picked up an SAT II math review book and took it to the register and the clerk was all, "How old are you anyway? I mean, aren't you a little young to be studying for this?"

"Well, I'm a senior."

"No way!"

"Oh yes."

"Taken the SAT yet?"

"Yeah."

"The new one?"

"Yep."

"How'd you do? I did really well on mine, I had like a 1270 or something, I mean I'm pretty sure I did really awesome sdjjkfhdsjkhfsdkjfhsdjkfsdfjkbsdfjkbdh."

"2160."

"Out of 2400?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. What'd you get on the ACT? I did awesome on that too, I mean jkdsfhglsdkjhfsdlkjfhsdlkfjhsdklfjhsdkljhsdf."

"32."

"Oh God."

I DON'T LIKE AN OVERWHELMING 99% OF THE POPULATION OF THIS STATE. END OF STORY.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-07-29T20:16:00

2005-07-30T02:37:10Z

Okay. So. Alpha retreat. Not much to say. I can say, however, that upon coming home, I nearly broke down and cried when I saw my shower. Who knew that being religious could make you appreciate the small things in life, like showers and shampoo? God, I love running water.

I'm going to sleep in sooooooo late tomorrow. I am so sleep deprived. But all of the sudden I'm still on this kick of seeing all the movies that ever meant anything to me in my life. It's like an experiment in self-actualization. Right now we're on the Romantic-Comedy-Plus-Anything-Including-John-Cusack Phase of films, including but not limited to:

The Essential John Cusack Collection (Better off Dead, Grosse Pointe Blank, America's Sweethearts, Runaway Jury, Serendipity, you know, the usual sloppiness. Although GPB is really the exception to that. It's an excellent movie, whether you're into cute movies or not. I'm into cute movies, though, so I like ALL OF THEM.)

The Meg Ryan Sappiness Collection (When Harry Met Sally, You've Got Mail, Kate and Leopold. None of them are great, per se, but they all were meaningful to me at one time in my life. Notice the lack of Sleepless..., but mostly because it just didn't have the nostalgic meaning.)

The Audrey Hepburn Sweet Movies Collection (Breakfast at Tiffany's, Sabrina, Roman Holiday. 'nough said, really.)

It was good to see everyone at Alpha, though. I think we're going to be an awesome Alpha class, I think, and I really like everyone that's in it. Also, it was fun seeing Sylv again and learning/teaching her my new phrases.

Okay well I must dash, but it was nice updating. As always, let's hug it out, bitches!

day 9 recap and today is day 10!

2005-07-27T16:28:18Z

Ahem.

Yesterday was fun. Als and Whitney came over around 12, and we stole my Land Rover without telling my mom and went to Palm Beach. (Making it there in record time, also, I might add.) Hit up the shoe sale at Saks and realized that my favorite pair of Chanel sneakers WAS NO LONGER IN STOCK IN SIZE 8! It was distressing. But then we went to eat, and hit up Bloomingdale's, where I found the honest-to-God best dressy sunglasses I've ever seen in my entire life! At the fabulous low price of $250! Which, for Chanel sunglasses, is A GREAT DEAL. I can't even begin to describe their sheer fabulosity. They're black and square and have the pretty silver Cs on the side with the funky little quilted design that is present on about 75% of all things Chanel. Someday when I live in California and hire an agent to help me become famous, I will wear a pink Chanel suit and score all meetings with everyone and auditions galore. Indeed. Bluh bluh blahhhh. Oh, and then we shopped around, got into a fight with this angry dude at the Apple Store who told us we needed therapists, to which Allie replied:

"Oh, but she does have a therapist."

And the guy made it sound like I was pathetic and spoiled because I have a therapist. Which is a completely untrue and unfair assessment, because it's nice to have someone who believes in me and doesn't shoot down all of my ideas and is easy to talk to. Just because my fucked-up family life has turned me into a fucked-up person, I shouldn't be judged. My therapist doesn't judge me. She believes that I can get into Yale (and even I don't believe that. *snicker* )

Anyway. Then we went to City Place. We pulled up to the valet stand and the guy was like "Sorry we can't park your car. We don't park red Land Rovers." We were like "Wtf?!" but then realized he was kidding. Then we shopped around C. Orricco for a while and went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. (I did not have any cheesecake, remember, because I'm on a strict diet, losers.) Then we went to White House Black Market and looked around, and bummed around Barnes and Noble for a while before we went back to valet and got my car, which took a long time and almost made me panic because I thought they'd lost it. Saw Bill and Katie Knight. That was it on seeing people we knew. Got our car, made record time getting home all the way from fucking Okeechobee Boulevard!

lady_isatramp @ 2005-07-25T18:23:00

2005-07-25T23:28:03Z

Day 8.

Went and got check cashed today. I have money again! Huzzah! However, I am going to the Gardens with Als tomorrow and will sadly be without money by late afternoon tomorrow. Again. Not huzzah.

The thing is, I don't really see why I should save my money for those Earnest Sewn jeans if I'm not going to be skinny till like a month or two from now. I am off to a great, fantastic start on my diet, though.

today's menu:

breakfast: small, very small amount of whole grain cereal with skim milk.

lunch: grilled chicken

(then, it was off to the gym. did 4.5 miles on elliptical, and burned 430 calories. take that, mothafuckas!)

snack: zone bar

(then, it was out to the pool. swam laps)

dinner: boiled chicken

I'm really kicking ass. Soon I will be skinny and look fabulous in my Citizens jeans again. Ohmygod I love jeans. When I become skinny, I can start building my collection. Soon my jeans will rival my shoes! (I actually happened to find a great Kate Spade shoe sale in Charlottesville and got these kickass pink heels with huge pink flowers on the front. You wouldn't believe the deal. I saved $130! Or so the clerk told me.

So we've got some good vibrations buzzing around, what with KS shoes STILL on sale! And I'm going to be at Saks tomorrow so I might just pick up another pair and ohmygoodness I love shoes. But back to the jeans! I want this awesome pair by Earnest Sewn, and another by Edun, and I'm in love with Adriano Goldschmied, because AG jeans are the most comfortable and sexy things to wear on this entire planet. Phew.

lady_isatramp @ 2005-07-22T15:44:00

2005-07-22T20:57:42Z

Day Five (More Colleges, Guys, Etc.)

DIET UPDATE.
Forget it, kids. We'll work on this when I'm in town. For now, I'm on vacation, mothafuckas!

COLLEGE SEARCH.
Went to Washington & Lee today and had an interview. Beauuuuuuutiful campus, very elitist, etc. also is no. 6 party school in the nation. Really good combination, kids. ALSO THE GUYS ARE REALLY CUTE. Not that that should be the deciding factor in any major, life-changing decisions, but HOT DAMN. College is going to be awesome. UVa is a party school too...yet it's also big, elitist, selective, etc. Virginia seems to have ideal conditions for good college experiences: beautiful campus, excellent schools, cute guys, and beer. (Well, it's true. Don't look at me like that.) Moooooving on.

AND SPEAKING OF GUYS.
HOLY CACAHUATES, people. The guys in Virginia are cute. It might be a southern elitist thing, or something, but the guys are all preppy and well-dressed and cute and this is...wow. Next best thing to California, right? ;) ... (The guys in Chicago aren't bad looking either. Huzzah!)

That's about it. As always, hug it out, bitches!

lady_isatramp @ 2005-07-21T20:28:00

2005-07-22T02:11:15Z

Day Four of the Mission.

COINCIDENCES.
I have had THREE separate cases of coincidences in the past month. I think there was another having to do with something in Chicago, but I can't recall it at the moment. I don't really want to talk about them here, though that may seem at odds with my new total-honesty policy, but whatever.

WRITING.
Writer's block is a bitch, man. I really am trying to finish this (as is typical of everything I write) sappy, dramatic, self-absorbed, angsty piece of work (goodness, all those words describe me, too...go figure) that I began at the beginning of the summer.

DIETING.
I really mean it this time, kids! I'm going to get skinny. Really. I about can't handle it anymore. I want to be a size 2 and it's going to happen. I'm going to make it happen. My mom rubs it in all the time about how she thinks I've gotten fat (a size 8), and maybe if I do this for her, she'll get off my ass about it.

ETC.
I hate everything. I hate my family life. I hate my car for breaking the fuck down on me in the middle of US-1. I hate that my parents have turned me into such a spoiled, self-absorbed drama queen. I hate that I can't turn that off, even when I try. I hate that I like clothes and shoes so much because I know it's terrible and stupid and vapid and everything bad, but it's who I am! I hate that I kind of like my dad's girlfriend, even though she's made my family's emotional life even MORE fucked up than it was before. I hate that I'm lazy and selfish. I hate that I am smug sometimes. I hate that I lie more than is healthy for any person. I hate that I've spent about ten grand in the past six months, which is appalling, sickening, and any other word you care to use to describe it. I hate that I have a shopping compulsion, whether I want to admit it or not. I hate that I am craving cigarettes again (I really have quit, I swear to God). I hate how I look (except for my hair, which I had fixed last week), and I hate that I'm a size 8, and that everything I worry about is SELFISH. I must be stopped! This isn't a joke, you guys. I seriously worry about myself.